Uninstall
by WhenTheyLie
Summary: When two of the worlds darkest, craziest, ookiest families in the world join together, who knows what will happen. Yes, what will happen when the Collins Family meet the Addams Family? One thing's for sure, all hell is going to break loose. Rating MAY change. AU. Enjoy. And as always, move towards the darkness, and love.
1. Chapter 1

**Liar's Notes 1.0**

**HAPPY ALL-HALLOWS EVE MY DEAR ONES! I figured I'd start out this holiday with a...CROSSOVER! :O So yes this is AU. Two of my favorite shows ever! I PROMISE TO POST MORE! NaNoWriMo tomorrow! If you want to check me out, its WhenTheyLie. Yes, this starts out slightly slow, but wait till tomorrow loves. Well enough of my ramblings. OH! Keep in mide that is IS AU, so if some characters seem..out of place, I apoligize. I'll smooth it all out promise!**

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Barnabas Collins glanced up at Collinwood, his most precious estate, with a surprising feeling of sadness. 'You're being ridiculous,' he thought to himself. 'You're leaving for only a fortnight. You'll be back at home before you can blink.' But not even that would calm him. Last time he left Collinwood for a long period of time, he was put in a casket and stuck in the earth for nearly two centuries.

"Master B?" the whispy, voice of Willie called from a distance. "Elizabeth is gettin' all antsy. Says the traffic's gonna be 'orrible if we don't get a move on."

Barnabas turned, "…tell her I shall only be a few more moments. I am merely just…saying farewell."

With a head nod, Willie went back over to the family's Thunderbird, leaving the vampire to his own devices.

The two-hundred and eighteen year old was now staring at the house forlornly. "Fear not Collinwood," he whispered. "I shall return, and this time, you won't have to wait so long for me." Even if the house could not hear his goodbyes, he knew the dearly departed members of the Collins family could.

"BARNABAS!"

With a massive eye roll and a deep sigh, Barnabas turned to see a very angry blond walking towards him. "Yes Carolyn? To what do I bestow this…honor?"

"Well to start you can get yourself in the car! Cause we should've been on I-95 a half hour ago. But, no! You have to be staring at the house, talking to yourself." She finished with a huff.

Leaning heavily on his wolf's head cane, he raised an eyebrow at his distant cousin. "A thousand pardons my dear, but when you've lived as long as I have, you'll learn it's necessary to say goodbye to one's home. For, you never know, when you'll lay eyes on it again."

Carolyn rolled her eyes. "…are you stoned or something?"

To that, Barnabas chuckled. "They tried to stone me, my dear. It did not work."

Her face fell flat. "Just get in the damn car." She turned on her heal and stomped off.

"Victory, thy name is Barnabas." He said to himself and went over to the Thunderbird, where the other family members were readying themselves for the drive. Willie was fixing the engine, Elizabeth and her brother Roger were trying to shove the last suitcase into the car, Carolyn was fixing her hair in the rear view mirror, Dr. Hoffman was in the back seat checking out the map, and David was just staring out the window. But, someone was missing. Opening the backseat door he cleared his throat to get Julia's attention.

"Oh there you are Barnabas." She said glancing up from the map. "Now we're just waiting on Vicky."

"Exactly my question," he said. "Where is Miss. Winters?"

"I'm here!" a soft voice called, and the petite figure of Victoria Winters appeared beside Barnabas. "Oh I'm sorry for taking so long, I overslept." She smiled and went over to Mrs. Stoddard and Roger, who were still struggling with the luggage. "Allow me."

Roger sighed and shook his head. "Be my guest Vicky but you won't-" And with one shove, she pushed the valise into the trunk of the car. "...be able to…" Roger finished in astonishment.

"Well, shall we get going?" The brunette said as she entered the back seat of the car, leaving behind a very bewildered Roger.

Elizabeth tugged on her brother's arm. "Quit gawking Roger, let's go." She said and then got into the passenger side of the car.

"I'm coming! Willie is the engine ready yet?" Roger asked now slightly pissed off, and fumbled for the keys in his pocket.

"Yep," Willie replied closing the hood of the car. "She's running like she's clear off the show room floor." He gave the roof of the Thunderbird a loving pat. "She's gettcha anywhere ya need to be."

Carolyn rolled down the window and stuck her head out. "How about we actually GET there hmm?"

Roger shook his head and opened the driver side door. "We're going now, Carolyn," He turned his attention back to Willie. "You and Mrs. Johnson can hold down the fort. Make sure nothing gets stolen or set on fire or what have you." Roger started the ignition and the engine roared the life. "We'll be back in a month. Goodbye." And with a chorus of 'Goodbye Willie' the Collins family set off.

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**I just want to add in, I hope everyone on the Northeast who was effected by Sandy, is doing okay. I didnt get as bad damage as I though. All my love to you. Review..and you'll get a Barnabas Plushie...HAVE A MERRY (shh) Creepy Halloween!**


	2. In which, on they ride

__**Liar's Notes 1.0**

**Hello again. So our story continues, sorry for taking so long updating, life, musicals, stage kissing. GAH. BUT! HERE WE ARE**

**MiyukiShinodaMindFreak: David shall be making his debute! **

**Also, as always, dont forget to review!**

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_Let the stars, fade and fall._

_And I won't care at all._

_As long as I…have you._

As Elvis sang about everlasting love, Elizabeth Collins-Stoddard was talking about her first adventure out of her home, in quite a while.

"I can't believe it," Elizabeth said breathlessly. "The first time I'm leaving Collinwood in over 18 years…I'm…a little overwhelmed. And we're going to New York City of all places."

"Well we still have a 4 hour drive to go Liz, and I hope you weren't going to rant for all of it." Her brother sneered.

"Oh keep your eyes on the road Roger!" Julia barked from the back. "No one else is complaining but you!"

Barnabas was unfortunately stuck in the middle of all this…both fugitively and literally speaking. Being in-between Dr. Hoffman and Carolyn, and lucky Victoria and David we're in the third row, playing Gin Rummy on top of a copy of Romeo and Juliet.

"Gin!" David cried excitedly.

Vicky looked astonished. "Wow! Very good David. That's the third time you've beaten me," She smiled and gave him a pat on the head, causing him to smile with pride. "If I ever go to Empire City I'll bring you along."

Barnabas turned and looked at the card players. "Gambling with a child Victoria?"

Vicky blushed, "it's all in fun Barnabas, beside we're playing for animal crackers not money."

The vampire nodded. "I see," he said and then turned to face forwards again.

They had left just after sunset, for Barnabas's sake, he claimed that he had so much work during the day it was impossible to leave any earlier. So, nighttime was upon the Collins. The head lights caused the black asphalt to sparkle and gleam. The moonlight was all but absent, a New Moon had risen.

Elizabeth turned to look at the passenger in the back seat. "Julia," she asked. "Are you positive we're going the right way?"

Julia scoffed at her question. "Of course we are. We'll be there in an hour or so." She said glancing back down at the map.

Roger, at the wheel, rolled his eyes, and stuck his tongue out at Julia's reflection in the rear-view mirror.

"I saw that Roger." the doctor said without even looking up from the map.

"I saw that Roger. BLEAH!" Roger mocked in a chipmunk like voice. He continued to mumble under his breath.

"BOTH of you, knock it off!" shrieked Carolyn. "I can't TAKE it anymore!" The entire car became silent at that outburst, save the heavy breathing of the blond. The next hours of the trip went on in complete silence, no one dared to utter a word. Well, no one except Barnabas Collins of course.

He cleared his throat and said, "I hate to be the bearer on bad news, but we were supposed to arrive in New York 3 hours ago. We must have taken a wrong turn."

And, as one may have suspected, that went over like a ton of bricks.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"

"Oh..dear.."

"This what we get for letting JULIA hold the map!"

"EXCUSE ME!? I wasn't the one road raging!"

"I have to use the bathroom!"

"Slow clap for you dear cousin."

"…What..what have I done?"

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**one last note! Expect a 12 Days of Christmas thing to be up soon! From now until X-MAS. I didnt have time to finish it tonight, so...double tomorrow! And reviewers get a Julia Plushie!**


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